Life is all about relationships.
In my work as a healer, I can support you to clean the energetic relationship cords between you of baggage to allow more clarity and ease. Here is a link to my healing sessions – Potent healing for Powerful Shifts.
🌸 Trauma-bonds in relationships:
When you’re trauma-bonded, it’s as if you’re lost in a dense forest, unable to ‘see the wood for the trees’. The emotional pull of an intense but abusive relationship can be so powerful that you find yourself clinging to the occasional glimmers of affection, all while ignoring the pain and toxicity that constantly gnaws away at your being.
Understanding the signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships is crucial for your health, dignity, self-worth and self-respect. Let’s dive into what some important red flags and green flags of relationships look like, so you can navigate relationships with heightened awareness.
💔 Red Flags – What To Look Out For
When you’re stuck in a trauma bond, the red flags are often hidden beneath manipulation, guilt, and confusion. They might even feel like ‘normal’ patterns if you’ve experienced similar dynamics before in your childhood and previous relationships. Here are some of the most common red flags to be aware of:
🚩 1. Refusal to Take Responsibility:
They blame you, others, or circumstances for their abusive behaviour. Accountability is non-existent, and whenever issues arise, they somehow become someone else’s fault and never theirs.
🚩 2. Control & Isolation:
They try to limit your freedom, keeping you away from friends, family, or your own interests. The aim is to make you dependent on them.
🚩 3. Lies & Gaslighting:
They twist reality until you doubt your own sanity. Their dishonesty and manipulation can make you feel confused and question your own memories.
🚩 4. Walking on Eggshells:
Their mood swings, rage, silent treatments, threats, insults, and passive-aggression can make you feel like you’re treading on egg-shells to avoid another stressful reaction. Alternatively, you become numb to it, since its been going on so long, you’ve lost your some of your sense of self and boundaries. Whether you try to ignore it or call it out, its abuse.
🚩 5. Boundary Violations & Love Bombing:
They overstep your boundaries, then try to reel you back in with a big show of love-bombing and future-faking – the ‘dangling carrot’ of a better future that never truly materialises.
🚩 6. Entitlement & Exploitation:
They may use you for free labour, financial support, or other resources. Yet, all assets are kept tightly in their name, and nothing is ever truly shared. So, if you leave, you will start your life from scratch, while they take the credit for any of your contributions to their ’empire.’
🌱 Green Flags – Signs of a Healthy Relationship
Recognising and cultivating healthy relationships is essential. True love and partnership should feel like a sanctuary, not a battlefield. Here are some signs of healthy relationships:
✅ 1. Clear Boundaries:
Respect and trust flow both ways. You hold each other to the same standards, honouring each other’s needs and individuality.
✅ 2. Financial Transparency:
There’s fairness in financial decisions, sharing chores and assets, and celebrating successes together. Money isn’t used as a weapon of control. You are both rewarded financially for your input.
✅ 3. Emotional Intelligence:
Empathy, authenticity, and the ability to process emotions in a healthy way. You listen to each other with an open mind and heart, honouring your truth and respecting theirs.
✅ 4. Accountability & Growth:
They’re willing to reflect, apologise, and grow from their mistakes. Conflict becomes an opportunity for deeper understanding and connection.
✅ 5. Mutual Support & Freedom:
You feel free to be yourself and pursue your dreams. They celebrate your individuality and support your personal growth as well as your shared journey.
✅ 6. Honest & Loving Communication:
You feel safe, loved, and your nervous system is relaxed. Negotiation and compromise are possible without manipulation or fear.
🌸 Healing & Moving Forward
Recognising red flags and green flags is essential for healing from trauma bonds. Once you see the truth, you can begin to untangle yourself from the pain and reclaim your power. Healing is a process, but it is entirely possible to break free and create healthy, loving relationships in your life.
The journey to healing often begins with recognising your own wounds and patterns, and allowing yourself to fully acknowledge the truth of your experience. From there, deep healing can begin. I can support you with a Potent Healing for Powerful Shift session.
